Good news: ADD not NVLD

I got the final report back from the neuropsych testing. I found it pretty interesting. The results were substantially different from last time. They did find that I do still have ADD, that is consistent. But all the non-verbal test scores had gone way up. They explained that my abilities aren't as high as the test scores indicate although higher than the original scores indicated. My familiarity with testing made most of my scores go up. Also, I was moderately depressed at the time of the first testing. The areas that I was weakest in, the visuospatial abilities, became even weaker when I was depressed.

The components of the testing that indicated attentional difficulties however, I continued to have problems with. I knew that, one third of the way through the testing, Dr. B told me that she was almost positive that ADD would be a constant diagnosis. If I were NVLD, even with my testing experience and lack of current depression, I would still falter, same as I did with the attentional and planning components.

I am so happy to hear this. The research about "success" in adult life with NVLD is pretty bleak. I felt like I needed to know so that I could learn how to compensate for it.

The best advice I've gotten so far has been Dr. W's suggestion to go on Strattera rather than the stimulant medications. She says it is best for ADD without hyperactivity and also works very well in people who are weakest in non-verbal areas. I'm noticing consistently subtle changes every day. If I don't want to read anymore, if I don't want to lie in bed anymore, I can think about it, stop doing it and get up. It may sound weird, but I had immense difficulties doing so before. For 27 years, I would get into almost a trance state with books, tv, computer browsing and NOT be able to shake it even when I wanted to. It's something that I've even talked about in therapy because it was impairing my ability to manage my life and it isn't an obvious ADD sign. Lately though, I've been able to just stop, think about what I want to do and put down my book and do it. Phenomenal. I don't know why my psychiatrist had been so reluctant to try it. I'd brought it up a few times before; I really had to push it this time and emphasive the irritability that Adderal gave.

One more thing that Dr. W said was that my social skills difficulties as a kid were all ADD related. She said that because I've grown out of them in my twenties. In fact, and I want to do some research to see if this is true, Dr. W said that people with ADD mature about 30% slower than people without it. So in a lot of ways I'm like a 19 year old. Not in terms of my drinking or stupid decisions, but in terms of taking control of my life, figuring out what I want to do, social skillwise and personal empowerment. I don't really think of myself as a 19 year old, but in a lot of ways, I've only recently, in the past year or so, felt myself to be more like other people in terms of social abilities, knowing what I want to do and how to arrange my life the way I want.